How To Unstuck When You’re in a Rut

I haven’t written in awhile and I wish it was because I was so busy…or had so much to do….or just didn’t have the time, but truthfully those are just excuses I give. It’s really because I haven’t had much to say. Or least not much to share. Lately it feels like whenever I talk to any of my friends, I’m hearing the same recurring theme over and over again: I’m stuck in rut. Whether it’s “I’m not in a good head space” or “I’m kind of out of it” or “I’m just meh lately”, it feels like everyone I know is going through some type of miniature existential crisis…myself included. As my own rut continued, I started to think about what it was that was causing it, and what I could do to pull myself out of it.  I came up with a few things that worked for me, and maybe will work for you if you find yourself feeling in a life plateau.

1. Turn off the TV

Let’s face it, regardless of what side you’re on, there’s a lot of insane things happening in the world today; and it can feel overwhelming to take it all in at once. Not only that, there is literally nothing you can personally do to solve it. Being bombarded with issues and problems and suffering you can’t fix, is only adding to the level of stress in your own life. So if you find yourself spending hours reading about the latest happenings in the world, take a break, turn off the TV or computer, and focus on yourself. There’s a reason why the phrase “ignorance is bliss” exists. I’m not saying completely black out everything, but it’s good to get away for a little bit and bring some positive vibes into your life.

2. While we’re at it….log out of social media

I am as guilty as the next person of being addicted to my Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook feeds, but honestly, they do more harm than good. Although it may seem like everyone you are connected to is living an amazing and great life, the truth is, most of those people aren’t perfect or happy or enjoying life either. I mean, just look at Scott Disick. If all you knew about him was his private jets and amazing party pics, you’d think he was living the dream, when we all know it’s the exact opposite. They might not be as extreme as the Lord, but that girl you went to high school with that has the perfect hair and job and boyfriend is the same….and if you’re already feeling a little blue, it’ll just add to your misery. So take a social media detox, put down the devices, and more importantly: stop comparing your reality to other people’s online lives. You have just as many amazing moments as they do, they just aren’t Facetuned and sponsored by #flattummytea.

3.  Finish Up Small Projects

The only things you really have control over are the things and people you interact with on a daily basis, so aim to solve any ongoing lingering issues in your life that have maybe been overlooked – especially if they’re small. Maybe it’s finally cleaning out your closet, or hanging those pictures above your bed- crossing off some longtime residents of your to-do list can jump start some other areas of your life. It feels good to accomplish something, no matter how small it is, especially if you’re feeling particularly unaccomplished in your life.

4. Get Some Exercise 

As cliche as it sounds, getting some exercise will actually make you feel better. Exercise produces endorphins, and endorphins make you happy.  It also will give you some time to focus on yourself and think some things through. Even if it’s just a brisk walk, just the act of getting moving will start to push in a better direction. For added fun, bring a friend or maybe try something you haven’t done before. You never know when you might discover a new hobby or love. Plus it’ll make you healthier over and you’ll thank yourself later.

5. Take a State of the Life Evaluation 

Sometimes a rut is just…a rut, and sometimes it’s a symptom of larger issues. If you’re feeling a little blah or have been feeling blah for an extended time, take some time to really think about what the cause is. It might just be Mercury Retrograde (it’s finally over, please don’t ever come back), but it might also be a sign that it’s time for a change. You can only start to change things, once you identify what needs to be changed, and that’s the first step. Make a list of all the things that are bothering you, the physical act of writing things down will help, and once you know what you’re facing, you can prioritize and start tackling the easy ones first. Life also won’t feel so overwhelming anymore. Even knowing that you have a plan for moving forward can help build some momentum for change.



Affirmation Cookies

My freshman year of college was…difficult. I had a roommate situation that sitcoms are created out of, my long distance boyfriend turned out to be more long distance than boyfriend, our family dog died, my grandfather died, and my parents divorced. And all this happened while trying to navigate a university setting that I knew was wrong an hour into my indoctrination. At 19 I didn’t know what I was doing, what I wanted to do, or where I wanted to be – I just knew I needed to change something. I made some life-altering decisions, and in looking for affirmation that the road I was choosing was the correct one, I latched onto a fortune from a cheap Chinese food restaurant that read “Your present plan is going to succeed”.

10 years later I still have that fortune, and I’m still holding out hope for that success.

via Daily Prompt: Fortune

Water, Water Everywhere….

Today is World Water Day. I wanted to take this opportunity to write about a cause that is incredibly important to me…and should be to you too. Currently more that 663 million people around the world do not have access to clean water. What does this mean? Well, it means that there are men, women, and children who are drinking, bathing, and using filthy, disease ridden, disgusting water on a daily basis for basic human functions. What’s worse, is that many women and children spend up to 8 hours a day, walking thousands of miles a day, to obtain this water. This takes time away from working, going to school, and just generally enjoying their life.

The saddest part of the water crisis, is that it is so easily preventable. It costs roughly $30 to give someone clean water, and $10,000 to build a well in a community that can provide an entire community with access for years.

I learned about the water crisis while listening to a podcast (I highly recommend hearing Scott’s story) and it’s been a part of my life ever since. This past year, I donated my 30th birthday to charity.water and raised $1210…it’s just a drop in the bucket, but it will provide 40 people with clean water, which is far better than anything else I could have asked for.

For more information about the water crisis you can watch charity:water’s video (below) about their quest to end the water crisis, and you can donate here.


When people think about water charities, they typically think of charity:water, so if you would rather show some love to a different organization, here’s a list of a few great ones:

Water Boys

Thirst Project

The Water Project

And if you’re asking yourself, “Sure other people don’t have access to water around the world, but what about Flint?”, here are a few ways to secure our own oxygen mask, before we assist someone else:

The Flint Water Fund

Flint Children Health and Development Fund

Do something nice for someone else today…it’ll make you feel better!


Jobs in the City

Today I had an interview for an entry level sales position (I’m neither entry level or in sales) with a gourmet candy company that I don’t even remember applying for. Actually, that’s a lie…I do remember. I did it in a manic moment of searching LinkedIn and sending in an application to anything that didn’t require a cover letter and had the “Quick Apply” option. Similar to the rebound stage after the end of a relationship, I was looking for quick and easy, and the fleeting good feeling that comes in the moment of the hook-up to make you forget the pain from the rejection. None of the jobs I applied for are going to be “the one”, I knew that when I hit submit, but I wanted to have something out there that could maybe turn into something….that hit of endorphins that the fantasy of being together gives you.

Yesterday I watched The Bachelor season finale, and I found myself relating to Raven’s heartbreak not because of my failed relationships, but because of my failed job applications. At 30, I have been rejected by more potential employers, than men….

As a cathartic exercise, I decided to relive the most ridiculous moments in hunting for a new job: